Family Dynamics

There are four theories about the family:
Family Systems Theory- looks at all the whole family instead of just the individual. There are subsystems inside the system. We need every part, if one is missing it won't work. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. It makes up and shapes them. Everyone plays a role in the family. All families are driven by roles.
Exchange Theory- If I give you something, you give me something. Its like if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Cost and rewards are equal or better in return. It's a give and take relationship. Frustration can arise if you are expecting something and it doesn't happen. Like if you do your roommates dishes and they don't say anything when they get home. It can happen consciously or subconsciously. Humans just think that way. It is part of every relationship, it's what drives it.
Conflict Theory- Upper and lower sometimes higher conflict. There is a gender conflict. Men are better than Women. Always in some kind of conflict. It's built into life. More power. Personality has a lot to do with it. Find the root of the problem! Love the person and want the best.
Symbolic Interaction Theory- The whole is larger than the sum of the parts. Interactions perception! All behavior communicates something. There is communication, miscommunicating or misunderstood.

This commercial for a car illustrates the family systems theory really well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ve4M4UsJQo

It is important for a family to work together and know their roles. Each member is important and has something to contribute. If any one is missing, it can't function properly. It is cheaper to pay for a babysitter than it is for a divorce. Talk about things and don't let it fester. It will be better in the long run. Everyone in the family is effected if someone isn't ok. The more aware you are, the more intentional you can be. There are positive and negative feedback loops. We communicate with each other and go back and forth. It is important to band together for a common cause.

Bring mom and dad physically closer together, and have a conversation. You can have a sense of peace knowing that we can do it together. Mom and dad should always sit by each other. You need to focus on each other, not just the children all the time. Let your children see you hold hands and kiss. I have made those a goal for myself. I also will not separate from my husband unless it is a really bad situation. I don't want my children to go what I had to go through. I know what divorce feels like. I know what it does to a family, and the children. As long as you try and can do it you should be together. Change schooling, major, anything necessary to make it happen. Check in on things, make big decisions together. Connect, talk, share and remarkable to make it work.